Trust Issues
'''Trust Issues '''is the twenty-first episode of SBFW Quest. It aired July 4, 2019 and was written by Purple133 and FireMatch. Transcript (Episode opens at a royal banquet) Jasbre: So I said to the guys, “no don’t shoot, we love you!” Purps: Excuse but how the hell did we get here? Crazy: I could ask the same thing. Jasbre: Hey! No breaking the fourth wall here! Purps: Wait what? Jasbre: SHHHHHHH. Alrighty everyone, now we’re goi- DAN STOP SMOKING IN THE ROYAL HALL! Dan: Sorry I can’t help it, I have an addiction. Jasbre: For your own sake you can help it. You don’t want to end up a fugitive of the law like Polar, now do you? Dan: No. Jasbre: Then put away the goddamn cig. Dan: Jeez okay, okay. (he stops smoking) Jasbre: Anyway, I was just standing around, waiting for them to- (a crash is heard) WHAT THE HELL?! Ingot: (seen with a cannon) Haha! You thought I was gonna forget the 3-month anniversary of Newfanonland, didn’t you? I need to celebrate this special occasion! Jasbre: Son of a bitch… Ingot: I’m the son of two bitches. Purps: Shit, what do we do now? Crazy: o Purps: Goddammit Crazy that letter ain’t gonna help us now! Crazy: Just run then! (Everyone runs out of the banquet while it gets destroyed by the cannonball Ingot shot) Ingot: Haha! By the way, here’s a little parting gift. (Ingot throws a dagger into Crazy’s leg) Ingot: Adios! Crazy: OH FUCK I’VE NEVER BLED THIS MUCH! Ingot: Oh also, here’s another one for your troubles. (throws another dagger into Crazy’s other leg) Crazy: FUCK THIS HURTS! (passes out on the ground) Ingot: Oh, and another one for Matchy. Crazy: I didn’t even know he was here! (Ingot throws a dagger into Matchy’s buttcheek) Matchy: HOOOOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Ingot: My sanity is higher than your guys’ IQ combined! Crazy: (wakes up) Purps’ IQ isn’t that high so it isn’t that hard of a thing to accomplish. Purps: Wait what. (Ingot hops out through a window) Ingot: Shut the fuck up. Crazy: o. (Meanwhile, Ian is sipping a cup of tea on a nearby bench) Ian: Ahh, nothing like sipping tea at 3:56 in the afternoon. (he sees the chaos going down) What the hell? Purps: Ian, if you don’t wanna die, grab my hand. Ian: I don’t wanna die so ok. (grabs his hand and they start sprinting toward a nearby forest) Ingot: Hahahahaha! This celebration is the most fun I’ve had since… I don’t know actually. Ian: What are we gonna do? This guy is destroying Jasbre’s place. Purps: It’s called Newfanonland. Ian: Yeah but calling it Jasbre’s place sounds much better. Purps: Whatever. Anyways I think we should find out who this masked man really is. Ian: I wonder who it could be. Me? You? Crazy? Jasbre? Jasbre’s brother Gene? Purps: No, no, no, and probably not. We have to get his mask off dude. Ian: Oh. Then let’s go do that. Purps: I’m surprised you haven’t insulted me yet. Ian: I’m surprised too, fucking retard. Purps: Alrighty then... I’d like to find out who that guy attacking us is before he strikes again. Ian: Well I do love myself a good ol fashion mystery! Purps: We’re talking about hunting down a psychopath, Ian. Ian: Just like Clue! Purps: Alright. Yeah sure. Anyway, let’s actually go find out who he is right now. Ian: Is he done destroying the place? Purps: I think so. (they run toward where the royal banquet was, now completely destroyed) Ian: F Purps: Yep, he’s done for now. Now to hunt him down. Ian: Right. Purps: There he is, laughing like a fool. Ingot (in the distance): HAHAHAHAHA! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER BANQUET AGAIN! Jasbre: Well shit in a cup… (Purps and Ian sneak towards Ingot, who is just about to head on out) Ingot: (spots the two sneaking toward him) Get the fuck out of here, fools! (holds two shurikens in both hands) Ian: Where the shit did you get those? Ingot: I found them on the ground. Ian: Sure you did. Anyway, it’s identity time. Time to see who the real villain is. (Attempts to pull at his mask) Ingot: You idiot! This isn’t Scooby-Doo, my mask doesn’t come right off. You’d have to have the strength of Thor to do that. (Ian and Purps both try to pull his mask off, to no avail) Ingot: Just what I thought. Your IQs are too low for this shit. (throws the 4 shurikens towards them, and they barely manage to dodge them) Well I’m on my way. See you later, retards! Purps: (sighs heavily) We’ll never find out who he is. Ian: Nonsense, we just have to keep following him until we find a weak point. Jasbre: Hey can you guys keep it down? I’m trying to have a snack over here. Ian: Oh hi there Jasbre. What are you eating? Jasbre: Sliced salami. (The episode ends as he takes a huge bite into the salami) Category:Transcripts Category:Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:2019 Category:2019 Episodes Category:SBFW Quest Category:Episodes written by Purple133 Category:Episodes written by FireMatch